Dealing With Tests From Women (part 2)
This Article: Don't hide anything from women, Doing what will work, Your best dating investment
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***COMMENT***
I just wanted to say that you do a hell of a job. Sure you probably make decent money, and your newsletters is a good way for cheap advertising, but you don't get paid for your answers to peoples questions.
I really appreciate someone that give great "customer service". I can only imagine the time and effort you put in every newsletter. It is a great supplement to you work. I bought the book and soon want to get the cd. thanks for your hard work.
M.
Illinois
David D:
Well thank you very much for the good words. You're right... I don't get paid to write these newsletters. They're all free. And I spend more time writing these newsletters than I spend doing anything else (other than sleeping, that is). You're welcome, and thanks for reading and supporting my efforts by investing in my ebook.
***QUESTION***
From what I've read in your newsletter, it appears that it is best to "hide" personal "quirks" from dates for as long as possible.
By "quirks," I mean unusual hobbies, interests, beliefs, etc. Such things are irrelevant to women during the "attraction phase;" they would only distract from the "C&F," confident, independent, non-needy, "ball-busting" approach. My question is this: in your experience, and that of your readers/students/teachers, once a woman is attracted, can that attraction be endangered as she (inevitably) discovers the "quirks?"
For example, I have "nerdish" interests such as the space program, amateur rocketry, and science fiction. I also have radical political views, and ride a motorcycle as daily transportation (unfortunately, it's not a Harley or sport bike; and I wear Cordura, not leather).
Should I continue to hide these
"quirks," evade questions about what I do in my spare time, and
trade my bike, in order to continue to attract women?
-S.Y.,
San Antonio, TX
David D:
This is a very interesting question. First of all, I don't necessarily think that it's important to "hide" anything about yourself. But the fact is that ATTRACTION isn't based on LOGIC... it's all about EMOTION and PHYSICAL responses. Most guys don't get this point, so they just stumble around trying to keep a conversation going with boring topics like work, school, and hobbies.
The point of being evasive in conversations with women, teasing them, and busting on them IS NOT to "hide" anything from them. The point is to ENJOY what you're doing, and to trigger ATTRACTION inside of HER. I'm kind of a weird guy myself... I like geeky things like building computers (I built my last two computers because it sounded challenging), fossils (I have a few of them in my house), and chess.
And could care less if a woman finds out about this stuff. It doesn't matter. Do the RIGHT things, and don't worry about trying to "hide" things from women.
***QUESTION***
Dave you are the man,
I'm in a wheelchair from being shot. good thing for me everything
still works. anyway, I am VERY successful with women, pulling just
about any woman of my desire. I have a question though. is there a
such thing as busting on a woman too hard or too much?
David D:
I think that there is such a thing. The problem is that most guys never even get CLOSE to doing it. Attracting women is a SKILL. The techniques that I teach are part of a bigger puzzle. Some women are so shy and nervous that they can't handle very much teasing... but they're rare. Some women are too uptight to even "get it". That's good, because those kinds of women are HORRIBLE to be around...
But most women "get it" and enjoy it. They know what's going on.
As long as your teasing is FUNNY (big key), then you can really turn it up. If it's not FUNNY, then it's not going to work for you. Remember, Cocky PLUS Funny. If she's not laughing some or most of the time, then you don't get it! Thanks for your email... I'm sure that your story is inspiring to a lot of guys who think that they have big limitations to overcome.
***SUCCESS STORY***
David,
I have been reading your newsletter for a few months now, and I wanted to say thanks. I haven't had much time to meet women, but thanks to your tips (and getting fed up with Teddie Bear Syndrome) I've had great success.
I'm a larger guy, and for a long time that
made me think that I was all but out of the dating scene. But, going
for the cocky funny attitude (that's me normally anyway, but wussing
out with women) women are eating out of my hand. Like I said, I'm a
larger guy; But I've made comments like 'Did you touch my ass?' Only
to have it promptly slapped with a 'no, but now I did' and grins.
Working women is like playing a fiddle now! Thanks!
PS
Olathe KS
David D:
"Working women is like playing the fiddle..."? lol... what the hell does that mean? I guess if you have women slapping your ass, it must mean that it's enjoyable. I know, it's hard to believe that even if you're not PERFECT, you can still attract women.
Miracle of miracles. Good thing, too... because life would kind of suck if it weren't true!
***SUCCESS STORY***
Dave,
A couple of months ago you published an email I wrote explaining how your advanced series motivated me to get off my ass and get moving on a business idea I had which is now turning out to be very successful.
What's amazing is how women are responding to me now compared to before despite the fact that they have no clue about my business since I've always refused to answer "what do you do for a living".
I think the key has to do with the fact that I'm so absorbed in my new business that I've become completely indifferent to women, whereas before I would put myself under tremendous pressure to talk to and get a number from every hot woman I saw. I'm not really all that busy (I've outsourced all the work so it takes very little of my time) but that's just where my mind is, to the extent that I'm not only indifferent, but at this point I almost can't be bothered with dating since it's no longer #1 on my list of priorities.
Women instantly pick up on this and I'm getting more looks and smiles and women saying 'hi' to me first than ever before.
I already understood the power of indifference, especially after hearing what Brent had to say about it on your DVD.
I've now taken it to the point where I may make eye contact once, whether it's accidental or intentional, then absolutely make sure I don't look her way again.
It's amazing how many will come over and say hi when you do this. I've taken it to the extreme where if I'm out with some guys and they're staring at a hot woman and won't stop looking no matter how much I insist, I'll slide down the bar a few seats so she doesn't think I'm with those bunch of dumbasses. Even more amazing is what happens after I do start going out with a woman.
I never call anymore. If we end a date or a conversation and she says "call me soon," I say, "no, you call me when you want to get together again." About half will call a week later when they realize I'm not going to.
The other half I never hear from again but the beauty is now I DON'T CARE. I added the following line to my online ad: "I only date women who approach me first since those who don't are lacking the confidence I require in a woman."
You guessed it - I'm getting double the number of emails. I also don't bother writing back right away and have found that they'll email multiple times and even send their numbers in an effort to get a response (a fitness model actually did this), whereas before I'd respond immediately and never hear from them again.
I'm also not meeting the needy, insecure women I seemed to always wind up with when I did all the approaching, the "I could never talk to a guy first" type.
I've said it before but I'll say it again - thanks for your powerful
material. I love the monthly CD series, especially the one with
Marie which I think is worth hundreds of dollars on its own. Guys,
be indifferent! It works better than everything else combined!!
FR
Phoenix
David D:
Ah yes, you're starting to REALLY get it! Very nice. It's good to
hear that you're actually USING the things you're learning. I always
love to see it when people take ACTION, instead of sitting on the
sidelines saying "That won't work".
Awesome.
***SUCCESS STORY***
Hi, Dave.
I had just caught up on a couple of your recent newsletters about
women testing us guys and some of the success stories. Last night I
was so glad I had read them!
I met a woman I've been emailing for a few weeks. I had kept the emails cocky and funny, revealing just enough of myself to pique her interest but evading many direct questions. Rather than asking her if she would like to meet face-to-face, I TOLD her it was time to meet. She quickly agreed and we set a date and location.
It was there that I put into action what I've been reading, though I probably got more in depth than you'd recommend on a first date.
But I worked in humor and teasing quite a bit. After dinner and cocktails, we wandered through town to a favorite bar of mine, and on they way I'd nudge up against her while we were walking or brush her hand with mine, but then edge away.
When we got to the bar, "incidental" contact became more frequent, and soon she was grabbing my knee and thigh and rubbing. I'd turn away and break contact and then go back to it after a few minutes. She was going nuts!
I'd lean in a few times and then instead of kissing her I would ask a question or make a comment, since the bar was on the loud side.
Finally she couldn't handle it and asked me if I wanted to kiss her. I pretended to mull the idea over and said, "Yeah, I guess sometime I'll kiss you." She looked shocked, and then grabbed my head and forced a deep kiss on me.
We played tongue hockey for a while and I would frequently break away to sip a drink or watch some of the game on the big-screen TV.
We left and we walked back to her place, which was a few blocks away. She insisted I go to her place. As we walked, she kept asking those test questions that women always ask.
She said something about herself, and after I responded with silence, she said, "Hey, I was fishing here." I told her I don't like to fish. She said that she was fishing and I was the fish, and I reminded her what happens to fish when they're caught. After I evaded yet another question, she blurted, "I'm so testing you!"
I just grinned and told her I'm out of school and don't have to take tests anymore. She called me a jackass and then gave me another deep kiss and groped me.
The rest of the evening after we got to her place went great, with more of the teasing and flirting, which led to some very passionate sex.
When I left, she said she had a great time and that she'd never met anyone like me before. Rather than saying I had a great time too, I told her, "I've had worse dates."
This was my first date after separating from my long-time wife. I was very nervous going into it, but acted cool as a cucumber.
I never would have had the guts to play things so nonchalant and aloof it it weren't for your newsletters and advice. This woman was very aggressive and in the past I've been very passive, but I managed to keep the upper hand throughout the night.
And it was all natural too--I didn't feel like I was being manipulative or slick, as I was afraid of when I started reading your newsletters.
Your comments about the tests are dead on, and I'm glad I passed by not even taking them. And I used some of the lines from the success stories too, when appropriate. When she said she liked me, I responded, "Yeah, I like me too." That was such a hit! The guy that wrote that should be made a saint!
Guys, pay attention to the newsletters. Listen to what Dave's
saying. Use what other guys are writing. It really does work!
D.
David D:
lol... "I've had worse dates..."! That's classic. Nothing can really be said, except "You are THE man". Nice! This is a great story...
And if you're reading this right now and thinking to yourself "Self, it's time to learn about how to be more successful with women and dating", then YOU'RE RIGHT. I think you should treat your SELF to it...
One of the most important insights I've gotten from learning the secrets of how to attract women is interesting.
I've realized that if a man doesn't know how to attract women, it spills over into all other areas of his life. It's a very special kind of insecurity that causes a lot of problems in other areas as well.
Let's face it.
Just about everything that men do to achieve material success in life is somehow connected to ATTRACTING WOMEN. But guess what?
Material success won't make the INSECURITY and the FEAR go away! The
only thing that WILL make it go away is actually LEARNING how to
attract women. I know, because I've been there. I can CLEARLY
remember how different I felt inside when I had
no idea how to meet women... and I know how different it feels now
that I do.
My relationships work better, because I'm not acting AFRAID... afraid that she's going to leave, afraid I won't be able to find someone else... etc. And when I'm single, I'm happy. I don't constantly worry anymore, not knowing if I'll ever meet another woman.
I personally think that taking the time to learn how to make women feel ATTRACTION is one of the best investments you will ever make in yourself and your life, period.
It might be THE best investment.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating lifestyle.
First: click here and join my free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer the most interesting and original of the advice questions I get daily from guys that want to date more successfully.
Second: Download my ebook "Double Your Dating". You'll find inside the ebook more of the successful techniques, tried and true, that help any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes with THREE great bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else. Get serious now. End disappointment. Start here.