How To Get HER To Buy The Dinner (part 2)
This Article: Learn the basics, How to bust on her, Don't be needy or clingy
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***QUESTION***
"David,
Sorry but this isn't a success story..i actually have a pretty bad
problem right now and i think you might be able to help me out...I
am friends with a woman who is four years older than me...but the
thing is that i am completely in love with her...big surprise...i
can tell she knows because i unfortunately make it obvious i'm
attracted to her just by the way i look at her...how can i get her
to see me in the same way i see her? I'm going to lose it if i can't
figure out a way to make her see how much i care about her and how
much i want
her to be more than just a friend to me...
F."
David D:
NO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHRRRRRRGGGGGGHHHHHHH!
Sweeeet, I get to do amateur psychology again...
I know that you THINK you need to "figure out a way to make her see how much you care about her" blah blah blah, but what you REALLY need is to stop acting like an abandoned puppy and do something to make her feel ATTRACTED to you. And I have news: The puppy bit isn't it.
I hate to say it, but you've driven me to it. Click Here.
Until you get at least the basics, nothing I say will probably even make any sense at all.
WOMEN AREN'T ATTRACTED TO MEN WHO ACT LIKE PUPPIES... UNLESS THEY LOOK LIKE BRAD PITT.
So, unless you're the most attractive man in your state, you need to try something different or you are going to have ZERO chance with this woman (or any other attractive ones, for that matter). Trust me.
***QUESTION***
"Hi David-
Love your advice on handling women. The cockier and funnier and more carefree I get, the more women want me. They now call me a "man's man." or "real man". I just take them less seriously now, during the approach. Anyway- here's my question: Just started to try personal ads for fun (there are so many beautiful women on line) and using your example I got my first response from a knockout! She stated she gets more like 200 Emails a day and that they all say the same thing- "I work out 6 days a week, fit, athletic, into water skiing,etc...I'm passionate ,romantic...."
She says she is bored and looking for the man who doesn't use such clichés. She asks, if they're so great why are they looking online for a date? (She has not acknowledged me at all in her response-just complaining about her 200 emails a day)
How would you respond to this gorgeous hot babe...?
Thanks a lot."
David D:
Here's exactly what I'd do... I'd respond to her saying:
"Yea, I was thinking exactly the same thing about you... if you're
so attractive, why are you looking online for a date?"
AND BUST HER BALLS!
Say "So let me guess, these pictures were taken in 1989?" "200
emails a day, huh? Well THAT must be fun talking to every loser on
the entire internet. How cool. You must be meeting some REALLY fun
guys."
Get it? And get her on the phone. Don't waste time.
***SUCCESS STORY***
"Dave:
C. here. I love your book, worth every penny and then some. I can not believe how much difference the cocky and funny attitude makes. I have always been a comedian, and have attracted women.
But I never tried the cocky part, (more like the wuss after I attracted them--we know how that turns out) and the difference in UNBELIEVABLE.
I sent out about 15 e-mails cutting and pasting your paragraphs (with a few changes) on a monday nite, and I had 9 replies by the next morning, had 3 more the next day. By saturday nite I had 3 phone #'s and had responded twice to about 7 of the girls. All wrote that my e-mail was the only one they responded to. Words like, and I quote "you sound marvelous" "I want to meet you", "you are so funny".
Thanks for the tips, and keep up the good work. And guys, don't forget to bust the girls for screwing up. I busted one chick for not using spell check and she has emailed 3 times in 3 days.!!!
Thanks again,
C."
David D:
I love busting on women for not using the spell checker... that's great. Ah, another guy who takes action and does what works. Nice.
***QUESTION***
"your stuff works like a charm i tried the approach at a bar where you say i wanted to get your opinion on something and the women love it you are a master heres the ? i got her email had a drink of tea walked around the city had 8 or 10 more dates i got lucky on the third but then i think you might say i turned into a wuss, i made plans for lunch brought a real nice gourmet lunch to her class she is a teacher and said it would be cool to eat there she loved it sent me a nice email later in the day but since then we have not seen each other she has been too busy. love to hear your thoughts...your #1 fan"
David D:
If you went on 8-10 dates and you REALLY liked her then I see nothing wrong with being sweet and doing something thoughtful like you did.
My guess is that it wasn't the act of bringing her the lunch... it was probably in the way you began acting. My question for you would be: "Did you stop doing the things that she was attracted to in the first place?"
My guess is YES.
I want to clarify something: I'm not against being
nice, or being romantic, etc. I'm just against laying it on too
thick too early... or turning from a man into a girly-man who's all
emotional and needy.
Get it?
Romance is great, flowers are great, being thoughtful is great.
But it's not great if you pour it on when you first meet a girl, or if you use it to act like a needy, clingy, WUSSY. [Can I just say that I'm pretty stoked about the idea of bringing the words "Wuss" and "Wussy" back into vogue?]
Where was I... Oh yea, if you want to keep a woman's attention long-term, you need to KEEP DOING THE THINGS THAT SHE WAS ATTRACTED TO IN THE FIRST PLACE.
Think of it like this: What would you think if you started dating a super-hot woman, and about two months after you met her she decided that she really liked you, that you were both meant for each other, and since she didn't have to worry about attracting a new guy anymore she could stop taking care of herself, gain 100 pounds, and stop bathing. Well, that's about the effect guys have when they mysteriously go from Mr. Attractive, Cocky and Funny to "Mr. Wuss Boy" when they decide that they "really like" a girl. Think about it.
***QUESTION***
"Hey David,
Thanks for the emails, although they are very informative I'm not
sure if I can use these tactics. I consider myself to be an
attractive guy but very shy when it comes to meeting women. If I use
one of your tactics and I get rejected I'll be crushed and likely
never try again. My QUESTION is how can I desensitize myself so I
can treat rejection as something not so harsh. When I meet women and
get turned down, I likely won't approach another women for months.
Most women I date are women I know through friends or work, but what
I really want is that random chick in the supermarket. Thanks. D."
David D:
Well, first I think you need to go take some martial arts classes, or get some female friends of yours to role play rejecting you... so you can see that it's really not that bad, man! You're telling me that if you get turned down that you WON'T APPROACH A WOMAN FOR MONTHS? MONTHS?
As in, like MONTHS? Excuse the language, but I think I would have to bitch-slap myself silly until I got over that one. Don't hurt yourself.
***QUESTION***
"I am handling myself very well these days thanks to your info, but a couple of things are still a problem for me.
One thing is when I get a compliment. Sometimes I am so caught off guard by a compliment I just don't know a good response for it. Occasionally I'll give them a "God, you're really into me aren't you" which has done well a few times, but any insight that you might have would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks,
J."
David D:
Ohhh, this is a GREAT question...
I don't think that there is a better opportunity in the world to be Cocky and Funny than when a woman compliments you! And your response is great.
Here are a couple of off-the-top-of-my-heads for you:
"Look, I'm not like other guys. This compliment thing isn't going to get you anywhere."
"Already starting with the compliments, huh? Look, let's just get this over with... go buy me the drink already."
"I'm not giving you my phone number, so just quit."
"Cummon, can't you at least think of something original to compliment me on?"
And the list goes on and on...
And on a different note: So as I was skimming through the 200 or so emails I got this week full of the GREATEST comedy/drama stories ever, I noticed that a few guys had the same thing to say/ask. It goes a little sumthin' like this:
"Dave, I think there are situations where your ideas won't work..."
or "Dave, what if I try it and it doesn't work..." or "Dave, do your
ideas
work with all types of women...?" etc.
I kind of laugh to myself, because OF COURSE THERE ARE TIMES WHEN A
PARTICULAR IDEA OR TECHNIQUE WON'T WORK!
Duh. I mean, HELLLOOOOOO?
Remember the newsletter a long time ago where I demonstrated how to respond to an online personal ad? Think waaaaaaayyy back...
I've gotten dozens of emails from guys who CUT AND PASTED that
"online personal response" letter, and EVERY ONE OF THEM got
responses from it. I estimate that most of them got a 50%-75%
response rate or so. Now, what this also means is that they got a
25%-50% "It didn't work" rate as well. But who's complaining?
Here's the bottom line: I've spent about five years now figuring out what makes women feel ATTRACTED to some men while only feeling "friendship" or nothing at all for others.
I've come up with a set of general principles, rules of thumb, and
concepts to use. In addition, I have probably a few hundred
different specific techniques that I've learned, discovered,
developed, refined, and organized. In my personal experience, my
ideas and concepts
work better than anything else available to attract women. In
addition to working better than other methods, I believe that my
concepts "feel right" when you get the hang of them... and lead to
women feeling attraction.
But just like anything else, you need to apply yourself and use what you've learned intelligently. Are my ideas perfect? Do they work on every woman in every situation every time?
No way.
But I'll tell you what... they are the shortest, most direct path from being lonely and feeling insecure because you have no confidence with women to feeling secure, fulfilled, and happy because you're able to create chemistry with woman and attract them with the magic of your personality alone.
Did this article shine some light on your present dating success and how you can improve? Sure it did.
I know it did, because I've been there. As a result of my sharing what I know to guys like you, (I receive emails from guys every day that have dating advice questions) I can honestly say that you need to take two more steps to start your own successful dating lifestyle.
First: click here and join my free weekly newsletter. That's where I answer the most interesting and original of the advice questions I get daily from guys that want to date more successfully.
Second: Download my ebook "Double Your Dating". You'll find inside
the ebook more of the successful techniques, tried and true, that
help any guy get the dates he wants. And it comes with THREE great
bonus booklets that aren't available anywhere else.
Get serious now. End disappointment. Start
here.