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Now, I realize that
these statements are actually different from each other, and deal
with different issues. But the common denominator in each of them
is:
YOU'RE NOT BEHAVING IN A WAY THAT IS PUSHING HER ATTRACTION BUTTONS.
IN MOST OF THESE CASES, YOU'RE GUILTY OF TRYING TO BORE HER INTO
FEELING ATTRACTED TO YOU.
I got one letter recently where a guy was telling me that he had
taken a girl out on a date, but that there wasn't any "spark"... but
he still felt attracted to the girl. He seemed to think that just
because nothing obvious was BAD about the date, that this girl
should also feel attracted to him. (Maybe he thought that a few more
uninteresting, boring dates would cause her to open her eyes and see
the light).
Here are a few common problems that lead to "BORING DATE-ITIS":
1. Playing it "safe", following her lead, not saying anything you
think will upset her, and making sure that you're "proper".
2. Talking about BORING things like jobs, family, weather, etc.
because it's "what people talk about to get to know each other."
3. Being boring.
PLAYING IT SAFE
I can remember when I thought that the proper way to act on a date
was to talk about socially acceptable topics, act sterile and quiet,
and generally try to make sure that she got whatever she wanted.
Oh, was this a huge mistake. Generally speaking, women are BORED TO
DEATH BY THIS KIND OF BEHAVIOR.
When you meet a girl for a cup of tea or go out to dinner, it's time
to have FUN, not to be her personal ass kisser! Playing it safe and
kissing up to her is a sure way to get either an expensive
relationship or a woman who won't call you back.
TALKING ABOUT BORING THINGS
Don't talk about your job and your family!
BORING!
Guys who are trying to convince women that they're "nice" talk about
their families (If you really want to be a loser, carry pictures
around with you and show them off.). Talking about families is
"courtship" behavior, and it will put her into the old "this guy is
boring" frame of mind. Unless you're related to John F. Kennedy or
someone even more interesting, keep the family history to yourself!
BEING BORING
So what does a "boring" guy act like?
Well, for starters he acts like he's NOT COMFORTABLE in the
situation...
Nervous smiles. Apologizing. Agreeing with her opinions all the
time. Asking her what she'd like to do. Holding your body in an
unsure, insecure way. That's a good start.
Mix in a few uncomfortable silences and you've got the makings for
her running as fast as she can and changing her phone number to save
herself from another one of your boring calls!
So what's the answer? What's the secret to making her feel attracted
to you, and not BORED OUT OF HER SKULL?
I thought you'd never ask.
Here are a few ideas for starters:
1. Take her somewhere that has a lot going on... somewhere that has
interesting conversation built in. I like funky areas that have lots
of eclectic, artsy, trendy shops. You can't walk through one of
these areas without having an interesting conversation. There are
all kinds of interesting things from tattoo artists to funky hat
shops to ultra-trendy clothing stores. Most cities have an area like
this, and I'd suggest you go check it out.
2. Talk about something that isn't BORING. One of my favorite things
to do is get her to talk about her life, then find things to make
fun of. This is a great opportunity for cocky and funny...
YOU: "So, tell me something interesting."
HER: "Like what?"
YOU: "What, you can't think of even ONE interesting think about
yourself or your life? I think I need to go before this gets any
worse..."
You get the idea...
3. If there is a silence, NEVER let it be uncomfortable. I think
that it's great to stop talking when you're first getting to know a
woman. But don't do it in a way that sends chills up her spine.
If the conversation goes cold for a few moments, just pay attention
to something else for a minute. Think about something funny to say
and laugh to yourself. She'll say "What? What are you laughing
about?"... which is a great lead in for about 1,000 different
cocky/funny answers.
If the conversation stops, be cool. Just act like you're with a
friend, act totally casual, and pick it back up later. Just don't
ACT nervous and uncomfortable!
4. DON'T BE PREDICTABLE. There is an area of the human brain called
"Broca's Region" that is constantly anticipating what is about to
happen, then discounting the predictable. In other words, the more
predicable you are, the faster you will be considered BORING.
Learn to say random things. Disagree with her... (without sounding
like a whiny little girl). Tell her that you think Britney Spears
looks like a dog...
If you’re boring, read a couple of books on how to tell stories… or
get a book on comedy to learn how to be funny and tell jokes.
JUST DO WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO DO TO AVOID BEING PREDICTABLE!
OK, I think you're getting the idea.
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